Chapter 2 : Plating the starters

We are friends right!

Not putting you up on the spot but I consider you to be mine( my friend ). There really is no need for it to be a .... I forgot the word. 

Reciprocate or similar, so chill.

It is true that we don't talk and you might find this odd but I don't really talk much or not anymore since 2021 or 22. So this is directed to all my friends. I haven't send a message first unless I tried something new and send you hii and information. I was so lost that I didn't even give responses to the greetings. I basically ghosted everyone.

There was a time where I really wanted to become a live ghost, like the spell Granger used on her parents or parker on the entire world. I have seen both movies and i was almost ready for the impact but you know I am a mugul and Dr strange is still not able to break the 4th wall of fiction. 

That period was depressing. I am still not sure how deeply it affected my life because I had created a self defence mechanism over my life and kind of walked every another day with ridicules, destroying hopes and what not. 

It was not total dark. There were bright moments, there were some moments where my one decision would had changed my life at that moment only. But I was too decisive or indecisive or just lazy or Hippocrate or something on the same line, I just lived a monotonous life, 

In term of cooking a full dull platter. 

Which everyone ignores but can't throw because it's food and there are people in world who are dying because of hunger. 

Go follow feeding India or Robin Hood army or something similar to try to create a change.

Nice segway right. They are NGOs by the way and feeding India is aquired by Zomato so not sure how that works but for rha you can visit their website or comment or contact me I will help you. 

I wish I just get the motivation to write every day and it get so big that I can earn from these segway lol. 

You know I just changed your direction from depression to volunteering. 

But I do miss volunteering. 

Fun fact: people start volunteering after they are content with their life and job and want to do something impactful and I skipped that step and just volunteered till I found you can't skip those steps. It is hard for a background I belong to or with the skillset I had. Stil I volunteered for around 3 years until I stopped. Spreading joy and earning those smiles, it's really infectious and you wanna do it more and more. I think there could be something in human psychology or a study around these action of helping others. Let's keep this thought ambiguous for a time it is going dark and I don't want to go there today. 

About this chapter, there is really no such moment but it does resonate. Let me explain, So I had dropped school and went to polytechnic and that could be the first ever drastic change which turned my life around. Those 3 years with 50-60 students were crazy. I had joined ncc and the people I encountered become countless,

And then I started meeting people with some positions, responsibilities, curious minds, jolly people... List is huge. 

For me when I just turned 16 this was huge and for a change I felt good meeting new people and learning their stories. My college was in morning shift so I had to broad the train to reach my college on time. 

Traveling through Train in itself is a saga. Though my time was short for a average train traveller but it was worthwhile. I will keep it for another time. 

This enthusiasm of meeting new people was really addictive, it is just another paradise. But I think I was too early for that and somehow my little brain was just shuffling through all these conversation. To put it why it was missed a opportunity because I just hurrying while meeting these people and not cherishing the meeting. This is just hindsight talking. That time I was doing whatever I felt was 100% effective and all the while adding them to my contact or social media. 

I felt I had everything i can hope for, I had people I know in various disciplines, I can reach anyone in Delhi if I needed a help. It was not true but at the same time my little brain was over the moon about these thoughts. This craziness strated growing in Facebook and Instagram. I just started adding people there. 

Pause 

Breathe'

When I say people I basically meant those with mic in their pic. So it was random but I was searching for people who were artists or doing something in their life. Hey don't judge me, it was my little brain networking idea. To meet people whom you can learn from and grow. And I did met all of them in social media. I was having conversation with poets and comedians. It was a big achievement alright. 

If I were to put all this connections, experience and knowledge into a plate, anyone can name it a skill and with some polishing one can become a artist manager or lead finder or something in that field. But I didn't knew there was a such a thing and I was busy in my daily life content with my studying and ncc life. 

For me doing a career switch was as easy as walking. I didn't really know what career really meant. I didn't even knew what having a skill meant until I joined a ngo and all this while I had a job and I was already volunteering for a while. 

I grew up learning life have 4 stages,

One where you study

One where you work 

One where you raise family and feed them

Last content with life and seeking peace...

 

2-3 might have something more to it but It was like this. But I was just 15-16 when I started meeting people and building so called connection and I just felt I had I something, I had a hunch. I was just missing a concept or knowledge or mentorship or luck ... But I knew I had something there but as I said I had the platter ready of starters but I was not able to finish and had left the meal to go stale. 

I don't know what my journey would had been like if knew what I know right now at that time, but its gone and I am here with lots of stories and a fresh start again. 

I believe I tried whatever I could but I didn't work out but atleast I can do this again. 

This journey of briyani by brianil will be spicy, funny, sad, quirky but at the end of the day I will be sleeping with a content mind and peace to start my next day fresh and hopeful. I know today's chapter what all over the place,but thats how we eat in wedding no 😅 or just me. 

Anyway have a good day

Signing off 

Brianil ( also happy birthday if yours fall in feb, comment down and I will write you a birthday card. I am quite old school).