Chapter 23: Anxious journey

Have you felt anxiousness, the feeling of restlessness. I faced this issue 2 days ago and i still have not overcome it. I am writing this to share how it felt and if possible i want to find the solution while writing. This is also my method for writing anything. If i don't know how to ask someone a question or google it, I choose myself.

This feeling was catastrophic. I felt like if i did not find something which can keep my mind i can go mad. It was dangerous and what soultion did i choose: 

I scrolled insta and youtube shorts. Sometimes i relieve myself with self pleasure. Now this took a lot out of me to press this out of my chest and well it there now. I am just documenting myself for god knows how my life is gonna be next month, so Let there be some solace. 

Now there could be many reasons for feel restlessness and i don't know them. I term it as chakravyuh in which Arjun son got trapped and was killed. Now restlessness may not kill but its slowly chews away the sanity of mind. The solutions i choose are also neither good. 

I have read solutions too for this, 

like 1234 see things, count things, touch things, eat >?

or go for a walk?

or push up ?

well there can be many solutions. I did not think of any solution at the time i felt that though, It brain freezed me. 

Music is also a best option to heal and smooth the tension and maybe creating a art might help too or browsing them.

But the problems remains the same what options will we choose again if that happens and majority its scrolling, doom scrolling!

I don't want that. I also don't want to pick the pleasure route. I feel there is nothing wrong in it but it can't be a solution and the after effects of feeling tired can also create a dull atmosphere. 

Well i am also going through a diet change and maybe this change could had been the factor. My body not accepting it. I am taking it as conditioning and tempering right now. The habit of writing the problem is also not a long term solution. 

Is there any point that i am missing?

i thought of one solution though!

 drink enough water so that you feel pressure every 5 minute and have to go to pee and this create a change and keeps body conscious .

Another plan is to just start breathing fast if possible transform that to kapal bhati prayanam. This could definately bring results.

I don't think this is related to panic attacks but if it is do let me know, i will research too. 

Sometimes there are people who eats when they get anxious, now as i am in a weight loss journey i will just stay persistent and won't be following up any outside home snacks unless its dhokla or say fermented or baked. 

All the fried and all flour stuff will also be kept in the bay. I also came across nas daily video on why is turned vegetarian and how is he following it up with his company. 

This led me to think, as a person even though i might have some intellectual difference or moral difference should i let it be or keep distance. I wont unfriend you for being non-veg don't worry. I might even eat non-veg outside india if its cheaper that way but if you are following bad habits of smoking or drinking i think i will keep you at bay. More or less the abusive ones too. If you abuse only when you feel its rage then i don't know maybe... but if you are by lingual abusive i think i will just say graceful bye. 

i know the above passage had nothing do with anxiousness but it does play a minute role of people being around me, if they are someone who drinks, smokes or any bad habits i think i will keep them out of my company. 

lets talk about that in another blog, 

that's all for today

Adios amigo

brianil

thats all i want.